I Want To “Feel” Brave

With emergency surgery, I was really limited in the amount of fear I had going through with a hysterectomy. Things happened quickly and I didn’t have to put a surgery date on my calendar. I went in to emergency one night to assess the problems I was having and came out 5 days later minus one uterus! I can’t imagine how it must feel to have a ‘countdown’ to surgery! Here’s one women’s feelings leading up to her surgery.

Finding Hope In Change

I want to feel brave. People keep saying that I am and I don’t agree.

The truth is that have made the decision to have a prophylactic hysterectomy (as well as my previous prophylactic mastectomies) based on fear. Fear of cancer, chemotherapy and death.

Fear is a powerful feeling and I think, if used in the right way, it can create bravery. I also think that fear can cause one to be cowardly. I DO NOT FEEL COWARDLY. I just don’t feel “Brave” either.

I have to admit that I am scared to have this surgery but, more importantly, I am scared to not have this surgery and, later, get cancer. I saw my Mom go through (and survive) breast cancer. It was awful to see the effects of her treatment: chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant. AWFUL! I’m letting that memory drive me through my prevention efforts.

With that said, the thought of having surgery…

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