I Want To “Feel” Brave

With emergency surgery, I was really limited in the amount of fear I had going through with a hysterectomy. Things happened quickly and I didn’t have to put a surgery date on my calendar. I went in to emergency one night to assess the problems I was having and came out 5 days later minus one uterus! I can’t imagine how it must feel to have a ‘countdown’ to surgery! Here’s one women’s feelings leading up to her surgery.

Finding Hope In Change

I want to feel brave. People keep saying that I am and I don’t agree.

The truth is that have made the decision to have a prophylactic hysterectomy (as well as my previous prophylactic mastectomies) based on fear. Fear of cancer, chemotherapy and death.

Fear is a powerful feeling and I think, if used in the right way, it can create bravery. I also think that fear can cause one to be cowardly. I DO NOT FEEL COWARDLY. I just don’t feel “Brave” either.

I have to admit that I am scared to have this surgery but, more importantly, I am scared to not have this surgery and, later, get cancer. I saw my Mom go through (and survive) breast cancer. It was awful to see the effects of her treatment: chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant. AWFUL! I’m letting that memory drive me through my prevention efforts.

With that said, the thought of having surgery…

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Pre-Op Revelations

Finding Hope In Change

I thought this blog post was going to be quick and easy but the Pre-Op appointment(s) revealed information that requires a longer entry today.

First of all I should share that I have a lovely sinus infection. Woo! It started a few days ago but I decided to avoid meds (outside of my nightly Zyrtec) because of the upcoming surgery. I was feeling better than I ever had with a sinus infection – I’d even go so far as to call it a “mild sinus infection” if there is such a thing. Well…this morning I felt like it was trying to creep into my chest so I got permission from Dr. G’s office (the on-call doctor) to get antibiotics from my general practitioner. The GP didn’t want to give me the quick and easy Z-pack because this sinus infection has been lingering since November so I’m on a 10 day…

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The Beginning

Hmmm, this one sounds interesting…I’m curious how things turned out!

Tales from the Vault

After watching a certain celebrity on TV discussing her hysterectomy on live TV  I thought to myself hmm………..  Yes she looked great in her tight leather look pants and  superhigh heels  but she  had probably  spent hours in make up and hair and had a wonderful stylist to make her ready for the waiting viewers.  That is not the true face of hysterectomy  I am!!!!!

Let me introduce myself.  I am Sally and I am a 40-year-old mother of two boys who has just endured what I can only describe as the worst few week of my life!! Yes my life!!  I had a Total laparoscopic Hysterectomy at the beginning of September this year.  The reason I went ahead with this “Ahem” routine surgery is because I had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit in my uterus.  This is my story from the creation of the Vault through my recovery and onwards.

My journey…

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An Aching in My Heart…Still Coming to Grips

Here’s a post that’s in contrast to yesterday’s. As I do more reading, I begin to see the vast spectrum on which hysterectomy stories lay. For me, I was very happy to have had the surgery and so much for me has improved since then. However, for many, this surgery represents loss, not only of a part of your body, but of things that will never be. Here’s one woman’s story of that.

Learning to Fight Like A Girl

I just looked at my calendar.

A year ago today, I had just finished the first third of my sandwich therapy, and was prepping for the awful feeling that was going to hit me in the next couple of days.

I am amazed that I am sitting here today, still in remission, and on the other side of that very horrible treatment.

This time last year, I was making plans for my impending radiation therapy.  I was getting ready to return to work for a brief respite between chemo treatments.  I was under the mistaken impression that radiation was going to be easier on my system.  I was just learning to deal with hot flashes, and how to cope with the end of my fertility.

Here I am a year later.  A survivor.  Thankful to be on this side of treatment.  Thankful for remission.  Thankful that my life, for all…

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My Own Process

A story about one woman’s experience with hysterectomy. She does discuss her experience of having one child and if this is something that is hard for you to read, you may want to skip it. Check in tomorrow though for a posting from a woman who was not able to have children before her hysterectomy.

Finding Hope In Change

Lately I have been reading a lot of blogs about hysterectomies because I want to know how others are recovering from the surgery and what they’ve experienced along the way. These blogs are written by women who have this surgery prophylactically (preventatively) or because of medical necessity (fibroid tumors, cancer, etc.). Some of them still have their ovaries so their recovery is different than what I’ll be experiencing because they aren’t going through menopause. It’s still helpful to read their blogs because they detail what it’s like to be limited with movement, restrictions on lifting items over a certain weight and other physical challenges.

They’re also, often times, in their 20’s and 30’s, childless, and struggling with the realization that they can never carry a pregnancy. Maybe they are newlyweds and had been waiting a few more years before starting a family. Maybe they are single, still looking for a partner, and weren’t quite ready to have a baby…

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Oh dear, I’m bored already!

I find it so interesting to read about other people’s recoveries. I did find it so disappointing after my surgery, how little I got accomplished. I knew that I shouldn’t plan to get ‘things’ done but I was hoping to tackle some books, etc. However, I didn’t have the focus to do so for the first while, it was really surprising to me. I mean, how much energy does reading a book actually take. I see now that a lot of people have a similar experience.

No Children, What Now?

It’s been two weeks since my ovary was removed, and although my recovery is going ok, I’m already getting fed up. It’s early days, I know! I have to take it easy, I know! In fact I can’t do anything else, but take it easy. I sat on the couch all day yesterday instead of sitting in bed, and by 9.00pm my stomach felt like had been put in a vice. I had to take a codeine.

Today, I have been in and out of bed to get drinks and food. I sat on the floor and sorted the laundry into piles of mine and Gs and tried to tidy up a bit. I have found it difficult to do the smallest of tasks and it’s depressing. G has gone back to work now, so I’m on my own all day and I can’t leave the house because I’m not…

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getting used to all this..

Although I find lots of hysterectomy stories interesting, I am particularly intrigued by women who, like me, were on the younger side (I use that loosely!) of things when they had their surgery. Here’s a blog I look forward to hearing more from.

The Diary of a Menopausal Mama

So for my first post I thought I would give a quick rundown on why at the very young age of 38 (im pressing 40 so until then I will say young), I am in full blown miserable menopause.  After many surgeries for grapefruit size cysts, endometriosis,  adenomyosis and periods that lasted so long that I couldn’t leave my house, I finally had a hysterectomy in June of this year.   I’ve been on every birth control as well as 2 rounds of Lupron, which put me in a medically menopausal state.  This medication gave me the false illusion that menopause isn’t all that bad…boy was I wrong!  So the remainder of my female reproductive organs were removed and now i’m left with mood swings that make me want to jump off the Betsy Ross Bridge and hot flashes that make me want to shave my head.  Not to mention the…

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